Fleeting as it was
The feeling of being wanted-
so long missed.
Those lingering moments-
so long missed.

Stuck
Motionless
Walls closing in
Air getting tighter
Walls closing in
Soundless jibberish
Walls closing in
Who cares?
Surrender

Report Card 2011

Fear is just a state of mind
Doing things when scared s***less is the way to go
It’s not that I can’t...I just won’t
Time out from family is needed
Sharing grief eases pain
Seeing family cry is heart wrenching
Settling is not good enough
Sitting next to you and feeling lonely is not enough
Talking to you and feeling nothing is not enough
Being ignored for lack of time management is not enough
Lack of affection is not enough
Lack of communication is not enough
Emotional rhetoric is not enough
Saying goodbye is doing the right thing
Making friends over mutual love for Eurovision is normal
Unexpected friends make life fun
Old friends make the best friends
Neighbourly love over cricket world cup
Basking in the wonder of Michael Buble’ whilst dancing with random lady sitting next to you
Booking plane tickets at the spur of the moment is wonderful!
Traveling with cousin to just get away from it all
Basking in the sun and drinking coconut with your best girl is needed
Elephants are spectacular
Having someone braid your hair for 3 hours will cause sore bottom syndrome
Getting a 90 minute full body thai massage before boarding plane is never wise
It will lead to a week of pain
Money is not everything
Harry Potter is not a phase
Falling in love with fictional characters will never end
Temptation; the biggest test
Just because you can, doesn't mean you should
Dancing; medicine, joy, necessity…
The world is not in our control
In an instant, all can be swallowed up
Human compassion, kindness, feeling is not lost
Having a good ‘ol book binge is awesome
Smelling old books is totally normal
Giggling which turns into whole hearted laughter is magical
Dancing until 5am are epic nights
You can meet, hug and kiss someone goodbye at the airport after knowing each other for 10 minutes

Explain yourself
Because we're all left reeling
Numbed with grief
The everyday shattered.

Screams
Screams
Can you not hear the screams?
Ringing in my ears
The screams reverberating against the walls
Screams
Screams
Make it stop

Destruction completed
Damage done
What for?
Why?
Explain yourself

Why?

Walking on the edge
One foot in
One foot out
Ready to escape
Running
Reaching for the oblivion

Blank

Chapter ended.

Next.

Blank page
Words
Ideas
Crashing against each other
Eraser at the ready

Page is blank.

Story to be continued...

Ma,

How can you say let's talk,
When you don't even have a clue?

I'm sick of apologising for all
that I'm not,
It's time you accepted me,
As I've accepted you.

Trust my decisions
Accept my mistakes
Believe that I'll learn my lesson
Stop the emotional guilt-trip

This life is mine
Freedom reigns
Let
Me
Fly

You were made for fun
Dearest wanderer,
Smile away...

You were made for fun
Insatiable
Damn morals
Damn them all

You were made for fun
Reality ignored
Rules not an issue
Nameless nights
Beautiful canvass
Sour taste

You were made for fun

Look in the mirror,
What do you see?
Because I'm consumed with cowardice.
And I feel so small
My will shrinking into nothing
And I hate that this is happening
This isn't me
This isn't right
I'm sorry